ABYSMAL
VELOCITY

Not suitable for Pensioners

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TV-Dinnertime SPECIAL

“Re-Hashed Non-Recyclable Press & Marketing Materials
From a Once Powerful but Now-Defunct Quango”
Shredded, Boiled, Mashed & Sprinkled with Inkjet Toner.
(Served with a NON-OPTIONAL side-dish of Horse Liver in Nicotine & Regurgitated Residues.)
Free Can of COKE, PEPSI or LOCAL EQUIVALENT.

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Celebrity Botox Distortion
Who will go the furthest?
Human Hall of Mirrors.  No Surgery Required.
Cash Prizes. Sponsored by Homebase.

PLUS

Miss Teen Taipei & Miss Teen U.S.A Trade Places in Trans-National Costume